FINE: starved without physical evidence

What happens to a normal-sized 9-year-old enrolled in Weight Watchers? Maybe she holds onto normal, or maybe she spends 15 years chasing it down until she is locked away.

In 15 years my weight wildly contracted and expanded while I tried in vain to deconstruct my body, but I never looked sick. By the time I was hospitalized my body was starved, consuming its own muscles for fuel. The doctors said my average-sized body was dying, I didn’t believe them. Running 12 miles a day on an apple a week, they hadn’t believed me. I had to lose everything, including my job, before I made it out alive.

Eating disorders are about physical evidence, and at a size 10 I didn’t have any. Eating disorder memoirs depict sick as 52- or 82-lbs, but these stories represent only one face of the disorder. My experience and those of so many others don’t fit into the emaciated image society has come to expect. Though our experience is far more common, we lack a voice in the literature. FINE: starved without physical evidence gives us that voice. FINE reveals that not everyone who suffers from a life-threatening disorder can be accurately sized up at a glance.

your stories

FINE: starved without physical evidence began with the purpose of giving a voice to those who have struggled with a disorder that takes more lives every year than any other mental illness, and who had no physical evidence to show for their struggle. As a woman who had spent more time living with an eating disorder than not, in a normal-sized to over-sized body, I struggled in recovery. Feeling that I didn't fit into the image of "sick" left me internally conflicted during treatment and ultimately hindered my recovery. It's my hope that FINE will offer insight and validation to those who have experienced similar struggles.

If you've recovered from an eating disorder and ever felt like you didn't fit into the image of what an eating disorder should look like, please submit your story.

I want to hear from you.

If you would like to submit your story for posting on melissa-henry.com, please embed it within the body of an email and send to yourstories@melissa-henry.com. Regretfully, I am unable to accept attachments. Please indicate whether or not you prefer to remain anonymous.

Thank you for sharing your stories, together we can give voice to a very real issue so many of us have struggled with.


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